I couldn’t sit still as I anxiously waited for my boyfriend’s arrival. I twisted my sapphire ring back and forth until it left a mark on my finger. A crowd of people slammed on the table behind me and filled my ears with obnoxious laughter. One man had ordered more drinks than the entire restaurant’s appetizers combined. Their drunken, business suit-wearing escapades were only flaring my anxiety.
I sat alone at a table for four, hopelessly waiting for the love of my life, Damien, to arrive. He had texted me this morning saying we should meet up at La Voya. It was a decent little French restaurant within walking distance of my apartment. I tried texting him back, but he never opened what I sent.
The chair I was sitting on creaked with every little move I made. I decided to switch my seat so that the constant creaking wouldn’t distract me or somehow make me even more anxious. My chair was nearly stuck to my butt because of all the food stains… or grease? To my dismay, every chair at the table was stickier than the last, so I just resorted to sitting back in my original sticky, creaky chair.
I began to contemplate my outfit. My left leg was bouncing up and down, causing my sweatpants to rub together and make an absurd amount of noise. To keep myself from bouncing I pulled my ragged sneakers onto the chair and tucked my knees under my baggy sweatshirt. One part of me felt extremely underdressed but the other part of me appreciated being comfortable.
I tried to focus on my ring. It was a large chunk of naturally cut sapphire wrapped in a spiraling gold band. It wasn’t the cutest ring in the world, and it certainly wasn’t expensive, but it was a gift from my boyfriend. It always brought me to a happy place. He considered how sapphire was my birthstone and he even picked up on the subtle clues I gave him, hinting I wanted a ring for our anniversary. But today the longer I looked at it the more I would sweat under the arms.
Things had been going poorly between my boyfriend and me recently. Just last night our Facetime call ended with me screaming at him for only caring about himself. I only resorted to screaming because he skipped out on our last ten dates, or at least that’s what I kept telling myself. Part of me wanted to commit everything I had to him, but the part of me that sided with my girlfriends thinks “he’s no good for me”. I knew our relationship was falling apart but I couldn’t help holding out hope. Maybe this dinner was a proposal and that’s why he was so late. The jewelry store was behind schedule, and he was running here right now with the ring in his hands. Would I even say yes if he was proposing to me?
Before I could think about it anymore, I perked up as the waitress around the corner said, “She’s right over there, you’d better not keep her waiting any longer, she’s already had four drinks”.
I didn’t appreciate the comment on my alcoholic anxiety-filled adventure, but I was excited Damien had finally arrived.
From around the corner, my skinny, blond-haired, knight in shining armor appeared. He locked eyes with me and poorly attempted to hide a smile. He was bouncing up and down on his heels, holding his hands behind his back. Jesus, was he proposing? I was just making up some bullshit to make me feel better. A smile began to creep across my face as I stood up, excited to hug him.
“Angel, sweetheart,” he began.
“Yes, Damien! I’m so sorry for how I treated you last night,” my desperation weighed heavy in every word.
“You might be taken aback by this, but I want you to keep an open mind,” Damien started, taking a step to the left.
The smile on my face vanished. I was disgusted at the sight of another woman standing close behind Damien. Her face was caked in makeup, and she was wearing the shortest dress I had ever laid my eyes on. All the plastic surgery done to her face made her look like a Mrs. Potato Head toy. Her boobs were nearly stuffed up to her chin and her high heels placed her well over four inches taller than Damien. Her long, bright pink acrylic nails went perfectly with the pink glitter smeared on her eyelids.
“Who the fuck is that?” I hissed.
“That’s what I was getting to love,” Damien stepped between her and me, “This is Ashley, and I set up this little lunch date to introduce her to you. I also wanted to discuss the possibility of an open relationship.”
Open relationship. The words slithered into my brain like a virus. I felt my face getting hot and I began to form fists with my hands. This wasn’t a proposal, it was the opposite of that, it was a fucking contingency plan. In the best-case scenario, I come tagging along with Damien and his whore in a perfect, sex-filled fantasy land. If I freak out and break up with him, he still walks away with a trophy to satisfy him so long as his wallet is full of cash. It was a lose-lose situation.
I decided to go with the latter.
“This woman looks like a whore!” I yelled, pointing a finger at the Barbie doll slut behind Damien. The entire restaurant quickly spun their heads at us to see what all the commotion was. People began pulling out their phones to record the crazy bitch yelling in public.
“Angel you haven’t even met her yet-“
“Oh, right, because I’m sure she has tons of likable qualities. If you wanted to break up with me, you should have just done that two months ago before you started canceling all our plans!”
“That’s not what’s happening Angel. I still want to be in a relationship with you. Just be open- “Damien stammered.
I interrupted him by getting up in his face, “Fuck you, Damien. I hope that slut gives you herpes,” I followed that up by spitting on his shoes.
Before Damien could react, Ashley took a step closer to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, “I think she’s a lost cause babe.”
The softness of the words leaving her dick sucking lips tipped me over the edge. I began to see red. I shoved Damien out of the way and swung my fist well over my own head to reach Ashley’s stupid mug. I hit her square in the face and she collapsed to the ground, clutching her makeup-covered cheek. Blood ran down from her now crooked nose and began to pool up in her hands. She began sobbing and crying out to Damien.
“Angel what the fuck is wrong with you?!” Damien yelled, running over to check on Ashley.
I unclenched my fists and took a step back, shaking uncontrollably. What had I done? Where did that come from? I was supposed to have the moral high ground. Was I going to go to jail for this? What would my parents think about another alcohol-fueled incident? I just needed to get out. I needed to put as much distance between myself and the situation as possible. I would talk to the cops later, it didn’t matter.
Without speaking another word to Damien, I quickly gathered up my purse and started heading for the nearest exit. Scared and judgmental eyes stared as I jogged to the front doors.
“Ma’am you never paid your bill!” one of the waiters shouted.
I winced as the sun beat down directly into my pupils. I shut my eyes to block out the light but when I went to open them again my view became distorted by my tears. I couldn’t stop myself from crying, the torrent of water was never-ending, no matter how much I tried to wipe my face. I felt like falling to my knees and letting the world disappear around me.
“Angel, wait! We can talk this out!” I turned around to see a blurry image of Damien running after me.
I forced my legs to unbuckle. I blindly continued to run as far from the scene as I could. A pool of snot began to form in my hands as I ran. I was occasionally able to hear Damien shouting in the distance, but I pressed on, unable to face him.
A swirling symphony of sounds and thoughts filled my head. I had lost my place entirely. Where was I going? Did it matter?
“Angel, look out!” I heard Damien call out.
I forced my hands away from my face and looked towards the sound of tires screeching. I didn’t have a second to react before it was too late.
Thank you so much for reading the first chapter of my novel. This is a personal project I’m working on in the hopes of publishing some day. For the time being, I would like to post each chapter as I finish them here, on my blog. These posts will not be part of the normal Tuesday – Friday posts. They will simply come out when I finish them. Please feel free to comment feedback as it will impact the final version of the story. I will also be editing this post as I revise and make changes to the story. Thank you again for being a part of my dream.
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